Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The Chinook winds of change

Overall the economy has been doing alright in Montana and the job market in Billings is still strong, but it’s clear that some retail businesses are feeling the pain of declining sales. There were some layoffs at a few places and this is probably a sign that some real changes are coming ‘round here.

First up on the list we have Krispy Kreme. Warning: what you're about to see may burn.




FYI, donuts do the same thing to men. So how can I feel any amount of sympathy for Krispy Kreme. Boohoo, KK. Only good can come from this. I’m tired of seeing mountains of flesh wherever I go, so maybe this is a sign that the average citizen will soon be safe to bump into, and perhaps even be easy on the eyes. And if the Big & Tall stores have layoffs it would be a real cause for celebration. I’d definitely be at the lake this summer without the kiddies (wink).

Next up on the layoff list we have Ben Franklin.



No, not the Ben Franklin. It’s a craft store. I wouldn’t be surprised if the real Mr. Franklin’s bones rolled over in his grave when the first store was erected nearly 100 years after his death. The man is on the hundred dollar bill and was a scientist, inventor, writer, and played an important role in our nation’s earliest pages of history, among other things. I’m pretty sure, no, I’m positive he didn’t spend his down time knitting sweaters for troops or cross-stitching maps. To put his name on a craft store is downright disrespectful. It’s almost as bad as slapping the name of a good state onto a girl who can‘t sing or act in order to help make her into a star. So the truth is, I never liked your store, BF. Feel the winds of change. Bask in the breeze of profit loss. In the meantime I’ll brace myself for the inevitable. Your former customers are sure to take up less costly hobbies, such as nosing around into the business of their neighbors, and casino hopping with the hopes of winning a few bucks to give a temporary boost to their low self-esteem from years of turmoil and torture from the opposite sex. Well, I’ll brace myself for the nosy neighbors.




It doesn’t surprise me at all that the Wells Fargo Banking Center had to lay off some employees. They have higher fees and a greedier, snottier atmosphere than any other place I’ve ever banked at. Now I’m going to swing off the local branch for a moment, and look at the company on a larger scale. Their Wikipedia page says they are “respected for its policies and management which have kept the company away from questionable business practices which have hurt the reputation of many of its competitors”… and they can say this because Eliot Spitzer never accused them of doing anything illegal. But when it comes down to its customers, and even its shareholders, it’s no secret they cheat and steal. My stint with them lasted a whole six months, and I was a happy bitch when I left. Good luck, WF. I predict as more people shop around you’ll have to eventually pack up and leave Montana altogether. Buh-bye! I won’t cry. And by the way, Mr. Spitzer couldn’t possibly be in anyone‘s back pocket. He’s not going to be poking around pockets or pleasure holes for a while if he‘s learned anything, so good luck with that side of it too if you have anything to hide from the world.

And last but surely not the least, we have Sutton’s Sportswear, a wholesale embroidery and printing company. This one came as a shock because they’ve always done well. The big surprise was a whopping 47 people lost their jobs this week. I know it’s not a big deal compared to other places in the country, but this is not the norm here. We don’t have much for manufacturing plants in the state, which makes for cleaner air and whatnot, but it also means we‘re far removed from the pain that others in the nation are feeling. But if this layoff is a peek into the future of Montana’s retail sector, it may be a wake up call for us to consider when we cast our votes here this fall. Personally, I think we need a president who is supported and promoted by more than just a man-maid, offspring or housewife. And I don’t know if any of these points have been made yet, but we need a president who can actually hear the phone ringing at 3 a.m. We’re all gonna be screwed if the morning that call comes in is the same morning a battery in a hearing aid decides to go kaput.

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