Barack isn't just Biden his time

It’s hard to believe it’s finally over. And I was surprised we had a clear winner on election night. No hanging cads, lawsuits, or turning to relatives who just happen to be governing a contested state. Jeb who? Exactly.

In fact, right after Obama won I had mentally prepared myself for the Republicans to come back with a big, “Oh no you didn’t!”

Thank God that didn’t happen. Everyone hates it when the rich try to act ghetto.

It was an exciting night, and refreshing to see so many happy faces on TV. Well, except for Oprah.

And Sarah Palin. For some reason I expected her to grab the mike after John McCain’s thoughtful speech and say, “It’s not over yet America. We haven’t even made it to the swimsuit competition!”

Maybe it was the tears in her eyes, I don’t know.

Now that we have a new President working in the wings and giving the world hope, I couldn’t help but notice this past week the minorities have been out and about. It’s cool that they’ve come out of hiding.

There is only one Asian guy in my town. Just one. Sad but true. Welcome to Central Montana. He is a friendly and nice guy and everyone likes him but he’s very soft spoken. So I couldn’t believe what I witnessed in the grocery store the other day. He was standing at the meat counter, literally yelling his order to the butcher, “Yes! Three pounds! Ground beef! Thank you very much!”

It’s heartwarming to see such confidence. I assume this is taking place all over America and Kenya. It’s too bad we can’t bottle up this morale, put a big bow on it, and give it to Bush as a going away present.

It's going to be a mean season

This is gearing up to quite possibly be one of the nastiest campaign seasons in US history. Not too long ago Bush was in Israel, and during a speech took a jab at Barack Obama. You know when a guy is campaigning and isn’t even an official Presidential nominee and gets dissed in another country by some one who isn’t even running against him, that things are probably going to get uglier than ugly this year.

Bush and McCain have seemingly got some kind of partnership because every time I turn around I either see them together on TV, in a photo, or they are speaking well of each other. I think they just need to get it over with and get a room.

Then you have the Clinton-lovers and McCain-lovers jumping on any little errors they can find in Obama’s speeches, etc. Yes, Obama had a great uncle who helped liberate victims of Nazis. Yes, he made an error when mentioning the location. And most of the country probably wouldn’t have known about Obama’s uncle if it weren’t for the haters jumping all over this to point it out. Talk about your plans backfiring.

I have to give Clinton and Obama some credit for recently making statements of unity in an effort to band together against McCain. If only they had the power of a current President on their side to help them in their plight. A President with integrity who has done nothing but good for the country, its citizens, and has strengthened a political party to Super Hero status.




Um, yes Mr. President, that was a joke.

And thank you for the stimulus check this year. It isn’t enough to cover the additional cost of filling my gas tank for the last seven years, or the hikes in the price of food and other necessities, but really it’s the thought that counts. And you’re full of it. I mean, you’re full of those good intentions.

The Chinook winds of change

Overall the economy has been doing alright in Montana and the job market in Billings is still strong, but it’s clear that some retail businesses are feeling the pain of declining sales. There were some layoffs at a few places and this is probably a sign that some real changes are coming ‘round here.

First up on the list we have Krispy Kreme. Warning: what you're about to see may burn.




FYI, donuts do the same thing to men. So how can I feel any amount of sympathy for Krispy Kreme. Boohoo, KK. Only good can come from this. I’m tired of seeing mountains of flesh wherever I go, so maybe this is a sign that the average citizen will soon be safe to bump into, and perhaps even be easy on the eyes. And if the Big & Tall stores have layoffs it would be a real cause for celebration. I’d definitely be at the lake this summer without the kiddies (wink).

Next up on the layoff list we have Ben Franklin.



No, not the Ben Franklin. It’s a craft store. I wouldn’t be surprised if the real Mr. Franklin’s bones rolled over in his grave when the first store was erected nearly 100 years after his death. The man is on the hundred dollar bill and was a scientist, inventor, writer, and played an important role in our nation’s earliest pages of history, among other things. I’m pretty sure, no, I’m positive he didn’t spend his down time knitting sweaters for troops or cross-stitching maps. To put his name on a craft store is downright disrespectful. It’s almost as bad as slapping the name of a good state onto a girl who can‘t sing or act in order to help make her into a star. So the truth is, I never liked your store, BF. Feel the winds of change. Bask in the breeze of profit loss. In the meantime I’ll brace myself for the inevitable. Your former customers are sure to take up less costly hobbies, such as nosing around into the business of their neighbors, and casino hopping with the hopes of winning a few bucks to give a temporary boost to their low self-esteem from years of turmoil and torture from the opposite sex. Well, I’ll brace myself for the nosy neighbors.




It doesn’t surprise me at all that the Wells Fargo Banking Center had to lay off some employees. They have higher fees and a greedier, snottier atmosphere than any other place I’ve ever banked at. Now I’m going to swing off the local branch for a moment, and look at the company on a larger scale. Their Wikipedia page says they are “respected for its policies and management which have kept the company away from questionable business practices which have hurt the reputation of many of its competitors”… and they can say this because Eliot Spitzer never accused them of doing anything illegal. But when it comes down to its customers, and even its shareholders, it’s no secret they cheat and steal. My stint with them lasted a whole six months, and I was a happy bitch when I left. Good luck, WF. I predict as more people shop around you’ll have to eventually pack up and leave Montana altogether. Buh-bye! I won’t cry. And by the way, Mr. Spitzer couldn’t possibly be in anyone‘s back pocket. He’s not going to be poking around pockets or pleasure holes for a while if he‘s learned anything, so good luck with that side of it too if you have anything to hide from the world.

And last but surely not the least, we have Sutton’s Sportswear, a wholesale embroidery and printing company. This one came as a shock because they’ve always done well. The big surprise was a whopping 47 people lost their jobs this week. I know it’s not a big deal compared to other places in the country, but this is not the norm here. We don’t have much for manufacturing plants in the state, which makes for cleaner air and whatnot, but it also means we‘re far removed from the pain that others in the nation are feeling. But if this layoff is a peek into the future of Montana’s retail sector, it may be a wake up call for us to consider when we cast our votes here this fall. Personally, I think we need a president who is supported and promoted by more than just a man-maid, offspring or housewife. And I don’t know if any of these points have been made yet, but we need a president who can actually hear the phone ringing at 3 a.m. We’re all gonna be screwed if the morning that call comes in is the same morning a battery in a hearing aid decides to go kaput.