Monday, May 26, 2008

Are you sure?

I caught the last few minutes of an infomercial Saturday night that got my attention due to its originality and catchy beats. What was the product I saw that is giving Richard Simmons a run for his money? It was a hip hop fitness DVD set and let me tell you, I was really (not) impressed with the fact that a corporation is using an entire genre of music to line their pockets. Although I must admit I’m happy the sweaty guy in the candy-striped shorts (that make grandmothers and Dave Letterman blush) has some real competition.



You go, BEACHBODY! With a business name like that, and a super sweet name for your product like this, people should easily trust you with their hard earned cash. Or actually, their credit cards. Oh, never mind. It’s not like those ever get paid off anyway.

Look at Shaun T. The guy is smoking hot (and I must confess the true reason it got my attention). But as you should know by now, I like to point out the obvious. He has rock hard abs!! And is extremely sexy. Watching him flex his well-toned body made my little lady downstairs speak. She said, “He is so much hotter than Phil Collins.”

And to think, all he does to look this good is spend a little time dancercising every day?!? Unbelievable!!! Throw out your weights and take your exercise equipment to the dump, ‘cause there is a better way to look like a God or Goddess. In the five minutes I spent watching the ad (that ran for approximately 30 minutes), Shaun T. and his bubbly girlfriends showed off a bunch of fresh and funky dance moves that made Madonna look really, really old. And very, very white (no matter what ethnicity she’s currently claiming).

Watching them all hip-hop-ercise was motivating, but did it make me want to buy the DVDs? No. I wanted to run out to the nearest happenin’ nightclub, which is about 1,000 miles away (but so totally worth the drive), to try out these new moves on unsuspecting drunken males. It made me want to jump around and/or get down, and other things like that. It made me want to buy more revealing articles of clothing, and get a boob job so I have something to jiggle.

If you’re trying to sell an exercise DVD set, are you sure you want to spend a half hour showing off the dance moves you’re trying to sell? Are you sure? Because I learned more in those few minutes than I ever did in any nightclub.

I think I just need to set the timer on my TV so it will automatically turn off at midnight. Where is that damn manual?!?

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