Tormented

Oh how I love you and hate you the same
I ran away, yet you called my name
I came back for another taste, so delicious
Eyebrows were raised, and my kids were suspicious
They said you were so bad for me, but
I returned to find myself in a rut
So I covered you up and left you again
Then you beckoned to me as a dear old friend
I couldn’t resist you, and how I tried
You’re so sweet and brown. Who cares if you lied?
Oh my god, you make me feel so good
You fill me up like nothing ever could
A little of you leaves me wanting more
I just can’t wait till the next time I’ll score
I try but I can’t keep my hands off you
I’m only human. What can I do?
Now I am forced to live with this pain
I run and sweat. It’s all so insane.

I have to say goodbye. I just have to say...




I just have to say…





















I love you coffee cake, but it ends today.

Only One Dollar

My neighborhood IGA has a $1 aisle they erected about a year ago in an effort to compete with our local dollar store. It’s hard to miss as they put it close to most of the check-out lanes. I do like it - most of the items aren’t labeled “Made in China”. They‘re labeled “Made in the U. S. A.” or “Made in Canada”. I can deal with that alright, mostly because Canada isn’t trying to take over the world and hasn’t brainwashed any of our Senators. And there are some things worth buying, like food items that taste normal and band-aids that can hold a boo-boo.

Anyway, something new caught my eye last week after I had grabbed some nuts. Cashews, that is. I went a bit further down the dollar aisle to check out the health & beauty products out of curiosity (and out of addiction) but I didn’t see any shampoos or body washes worth adding to my collection. Besides, I had just replaced 5 bottles of brand name products that got used up over the last 2 weeks. And I didn’t see anything special worth grabbing, in fact, the body wash looked more like dish soap. I shuddered.

And that’s when I saw something that made me do a double take… a row of home pregnancy tests.

Wtf, really? A pregnancy test for a buck?

I found it mind boggling, and still do, that they can be sold so cheaply. If they’re selling for a dollar, how much does it cost to make them? Two cents?

Well my two cents is - why stop there?

Here’s a list of things that could be sold for just $1:

Condoms. That’s something that could make a difference, as long as they don‘t just throw balloons in a box and call it good.

Vaginal contraception. For the latex-sensitive and/or couples who like to feel something other than rubber. That’s assuming it actually works.

Wine. It really wouldn’t hurt the reps of some (Mad Dog) to go a tad lower.

Beer. Coor’s could pull this off if they quit with the magical labels. What a waste... Is it cold enough? I, I can’t feel the bottle.

Salsa. I can find chips for a buck, but not good salsa? Un-frickin-believable.

Candles. To set the mood for ya know, or your Martha Stewart moments. You could even save money lighting up your place. And shazam, everyone looks good in candle light. You never know when that reminder might come in handy.

Flowers. When you’re running low on cash after buying real contraception and alcohol, it just might work in some trailer parks.

Mace. For those unwanted advances, like maybe your ex, or if your date shows up with wilting $1 flowers.

Porn. For a dollar I’m guessing it would be called Screetch Baby! or A Dustin Is Forever…
On second thought, scratch that one.

The new Alvin & the Chipmunks CD. Is it really worth more than that?


*What else could be sold for just one dollar?