Facing the truth about politicians hurts

I really enjoy watching Anderson Cooper so I try to never miss his show AC360. He’s hawt. Anyway, I was watching Friday and it seems John Edwards (who has only been labeled 'hawt' by Larry Craig) has finally admitted he had this affair that he’d been denying for an eternity. Well, almost a year. But he’s not off the hook yet, and is obviously feeling the pressure from yet another accusation. In response to rumors that he impregnated his mistress, he’s now resorted to quoting Michael Jackson lyrics. “She says I am the one. But the kid is not my son.”

Seriously though, I like to think I’m fair 99% of the time. So, the truth: John’s mistress Rielle Hunter isn’t the one pressing the paternity issue. In fact, she doesn’t even want a paternity test done. It’s the National Enquirer. It seems they have a picture of Edwards in a hotel room holding the baby. The magazine is apparently trying to change its image from the number one source of heat and toilet paper for the homeless to America’s number one news source.

But I’ve known for a long time and have accepted the fact that politicians cheat on their spouses. Who cares about that? I found something newsworthy about Senators McCain and Obama and, well, to say I’m totally shocked and disappointed would be an understatement. It’s short so you should probably read it first. But proceed to the story with caution and keep your legs crossed. Remember, everything that oozes from these two stems from their one shared goal… getting lots of tail in the Lincoln Room. It’s just a lot easier that way.

I must admit when reading the article it really pained me to see a few of the candidates’ music choices.

ABBA? I can just imagine McCain with his wife’s iPod not long before saying that.

Sheryl Crow? Bob Dylan? These are on Obama’s short list? I’m speechless. I had him pinned as a Kenny Rogers fan.

And of course McCain just had to throw in, “But I like Usher too.”

Holy pandering politicians!

But what really cracked me up was what McCain essentially said about a character in the last movie he’s seen.



I think he may be on to something.

Just kidding, I think Harrison Ford should kick his ass.

My favorite holiday

Yes! It’s finally here. The day we got serious about getting the King’s redcoats off “our” property.

“Taxes?! We don’t need no stinking taxes!”

We sure told him…

I’ve pretty much covered the reasons why I love the 4th of July and other stuff I like about summer, so what else can I do? Well I should clarify that although our line-up of performers leaves much to be desired, there is one who I hear is worth seeing. Amy is a friend and the neighbors say she’s a good singer. I got to know her and her kids when she lived on my block for a couple of years. But I had no idea she was singing last 4th of July or I would’ve made a point to see her (we went on the 3rd instead). She moved back home to another town in Montana this spring, so I’m glad she’s come back for at least a couple of days. To sum her up I’ll share a short story. My oldest daughter (who just turned 9 yesterday) has been to Amy’s house many times to play with her children, so she has heard her sing. She picked up a People magazine sometime this past winter (I buy it for the crosswords) and pointed at the totally fake photo on the cover (they really overdo those touch ups). “Mom, who is that?” she asked.

“It’s Britney Spears. She sings that song, ‘Hit me baby’… blah, blah, blah…”

“Oh! I know that song. She’s not a very good singer. Amy sings way better than her.”

“What about Sheryl Crow? She sings that song ‘I wanna soak up the’… blah, blah, blah…”

“Amy’s way better than her too.”

“That’s good to know…”

I like her already. So today I’m going to stop by and enjoy her performance. Then I’ll get really drunk and light fireworks. I hope I don’t hurt anyone…