Magic beans, and what not...

I have this crazy sleep schedule. After a hard day’s work I lie on the sofa to watch some TV and end up passing out for a few hours. Then I catch a few more hours of sleep in the early morning until the phone rings at around nineish. It’s always a computer guy named Jim or gal named Jill who wants me to upgrade my cable to satellite or extend my imaginary warranty, or even consolidate my imaginary credit card debt. Point is, I could sleep through a tornado or monkey slapping my face. But for some reason I always jump out of bed and a deep sleep whenever the phone rings. So that works for me much better than an alarm clock. I’m pretty much awake the rest of the day. At least, until I get home from work. That’s how it’s been for the last few years or so. And now I need to change all of that. In fact, I just took a sleeping pill so I need to finish this as quick as a Vegas wedding so I don’t pass out and drool all over the keyboard. But that’s not a real scenario. Pills only seem to work when someone wants to get high. Well, I just need to hurry.

So my old boss called me about a week ago. I was his office manager for six months in ‘03-‘04 before he realized he could no longer afford to pay me. And regarding the business, he said, “Please! Just take it!”

Since then he’s started and apparently shut down another business that he ran without any outside help, and again started up an entirely new one. Now back to the phone call. I didn’t think much of it since he calls occasionally to see how things are going with me and/or needs a favor. One time I ended up selling sno-cones around town with one of his daughters from a golf cart because he got busy and needed me to take his place. And, he said I would pick up some extra cash. That only lasted about a month. After expenses and splitting the profit with his daughter, I raked in ten dollars a week.

Here’s how the convo went…

“Hey Alicia, sorry to call so early but I need to run something by you. Got a minute?”

“Uh… yeah. What time is it?”

“Ha ha. Hey, I’ve had this new business now for close to a year and it’s doing really well.”

“Tons of dough, huh?” Yawn.

“Like I said, it’s doing well. I have a new office in town, and it would be great if you would come work for me.”

“I’ll have to think about it. Can I keep my current job? ‘Cause I don’t really want to quit it.”

Translation: “I’m scared to death to quit a secure job when any time I’ve ever worked for you it’s only been temporary.”

“Hey, that’s no problem. We can work around your other job. Just think it over, and if you decide you want to do it give me the earliest and latest times you can work.”

Translation: “This I know. I will be your boss again. Muahahahahaha.”

“Sure, I’ll think it over and get back to you.”

Translation: “Oh shit! You really are serious, aren’t you?”

So I called him back on Friday, and he says this will eventually turn into full time with benefits.

Okay. Whatever!

I start first thing Monday morning. Wish me luck.

The gas station hates me

Something really strange has been going on.



Let me give you a little background info before I get into that. I drive by the gas station every day. And I’ve been noting the price I see up there on the sign as I drive by… every day. And I’ve been a slave to another certain routine for quite some time now: I get paid, go to the gas station, and fill up with just enough gas to get by until the next pay day. They’ve got me by the crotch and it’s not making me feel all hot and tingly in a good way.

This routine of mine began a few years back when the price of fuel really started hiking up the price of food and everything else that we need to survive. So it’s not like it’s the price of gasoline alone that is twisting my panties. It’s the price of every damn thing. We don’t manufacture anything - it all gets shipped here - so we watch a lot of those TV shows that explain in great detail how to live in the wild, just in case some day the trucks stop rolling through (you never know).

Back to the strangeness - here’s the really odd thing that’s been going down:
Two days before my payday, I drive by and see…



I see the new price.

Nooooooooooooooo! It can’t be. They raised it. Damn. I was SO close to making it. SO close to getting my gas for the same price I paid the LAST time I was there. Just TWO days away!!

Two days.

So I go through my routine. I get paid, go directly to the gas station, and put just enough gas in my tank to get by until my next paycheck. I frown because it costs more than it did the last time I was there. I go on about my daily business in life…

Some time passes, and it is once again TWO days before I get paid.



I see they’ve raised the price yet again. It’s a vicious cycle. I feel so… hated.

It’s just TWO days. Why can’t they wait…